ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize