I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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