just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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