**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
