Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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