Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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