Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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