You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
