You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
