He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize