tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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