that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
