you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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