sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize