Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
