My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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