I'm lost and stupid without you.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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