just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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