imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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