I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize