that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
