Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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