ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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