There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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