Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
