I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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