I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize