Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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