Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize