It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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