There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
