Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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