He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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