you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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