if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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