I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
worst night to have a conscience
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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