I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
id be glad to
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
