we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
