TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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