i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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