I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm sobbing to NWA
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize