And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
