clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
