So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Come share oat with me in your robe
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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