And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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