another moral hangover. fuck.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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