sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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