Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
