Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
