To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
