im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
