dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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