so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
