either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
