I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
